He didn't stop there...

On Sunday - November 22nd - I had a 'God-moment'. It's taken me awhile to decide if I should share it with you all as it's fairly personal. But I think I should.

I was sitting in church...we'd sung "Great is Thy Faithfulness" - one of my favourites! And I was just thinking really...and He surprised me.

I was thinking about getting back to Haiti, and giving my missionary family the gifts I've started to collect for them...

That led to deeper thinking...or bitter-sweeting ;) I guess you could call it.

While the first thought was giving me joy a second thought, a much deeper, darker thought coursed through the channels of my mind. This bitter thought was a reminder of my loneliness (writing it here it was probably an attack from Satan) because as soon as I felt the 'sting' of that thought I started wishing I was married and had someone special to give gifts to or even some special someones.

I was feeling thus, when I heard His gentle whisper.

He called my name. "Elida."

"Yes", I breathed out the question.

"I love you."

I smiled.

But He didn't stop there. He knew I needed to hear more. He knew I needed to hear truth.

"I love you more than you can fathom."

At this point I had goose-bumps and was awash with overwhelming thankfulness...

But He didn't stop there.

"I know you are lonely, and scared of growing old, of growing old without kids."

At this point I started to cry - these were all true, but things I barely admitted to myself. I waited breathlessly to see if He would stop there? With my fears? With my failings? With my frustrations?

But He didn't stop there. He continued:

"I know this - all of it - and I want you to know..."

Yes, yes? Lord, what DO You want me to know?

"It's OK...It's going to BE OK...I've got a beautiful plan for your life."

A fall back to His promise in Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." He had given me this verse when I was a teenager, struggling in a barren place. And here He was reminding me of it once again.

But He didn't stop there.

"Remember - I love you."

I was almost crying out loud at this point.

But He didn't stop there.

"And I love to give good and perfect gifts to My children. Just as you, My precious child, get so much enjoyment out of blessing others with your gift of giving which I've given you."

There.

There is where He stopped.

Not until He had spoken to me with words of affirmation, not until He had stripped me bare, not until He had voiced the fears I try to hide, not until He had let me KNOW His plans, not until He had offered me a glimpse of Who He is - LOVE. Not until then, did He stop. Not until this one tired, frightened, lonely child of His KNEW she was LOVED in the deepest way possible.

Blessed is the one who waits.

Today's reading from Streams in the Desert has once again been exactly what I've needed as I face another uncertain day.

Many of you know that I flew out of Haiti on November 12th for a quick trip home to surprise my Mom for her --th birthday!!! She was COMPLETELY surprised!!! For I think only the second or third time in her life!! 

Video still of her saying: "I think you got me." When I asked if she was surprised?

 This trip was part of a week's vacation that I was taking and I should've already returned to Haiti. My flight back was on Saturday, November 16th. 

But because of recent health issues - namely unexplained chest pain. My reservation was cancelled and I am currently in limbo. The MD advised NOT returning to Haiti until this issue was sorted. 

I had a stress-echocardiogram done on Monday morning. And am now awaiting results. I've heard from the MD, he has my results and thankfully, due to a cancellation will be able to see me this afternoon at 1pm to go over them and talk about the next step. 

So, I am waiting. 

I don't know for how long I'll be 'held' here in the States. I *want* to get back. 

I am enjoying my time back with my family - currently staying with my parents, and my live-at-home-single-mom-sister, and nephew. It's been great! Especially as Teddy is 8 months old, crawling...EVERYWHERE, upstairs even! LOVES to laugh - is as sweet as he can be and LOVES his "Tanti" Lida.

While this is true, I did have some anxiety over leaving Haiti and the possibility that I might just get 'held'. but Sweet Jesus! He dealt with my feelings of anxiety over leaving Haiti for longer than I expected before I even left! Reminding me it is MY job to follow, it is HIS job to lead. 

Just a few days before I left, in my devotions was the reminder that Abraham had to sacrifice Isaac WHERE GOD DIRECTED. It was not just enough to be WILLING to sacrifice his son, his beloved son, whom he loved, but to do it WHERE God directed. I was impressed by the fact that God has called me to sacrifice - usually I see that as ON the mission field - but this time He showed me it was the Mission Field I was sacrificing. And doing it where He leads me, following Him.

These past few days I have felt fixed on Him. Ps 57:7 and Ps 112:7 have both been the verses I've pointed people to as they've asked how I am. 

Ps 57:7 - My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed: I will sing and give praise.

Ps 112:7 - He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the LORD.

So, this morning, as I woke up at 5:15 and could NOT get back to sleep, I decided to have my devotions an hour early...I'm so glad I did! 

From November 20th, Streams in the Desert: 

"Blessed is the one who waits. (Daniel 12:12)

Waiting may seem like an easy thing to do, but it is a discipline that a Christian soldier does not learn without years of training. Marching and drills are much easier for God's warriors than standing still. There are times of indecision and confusion, when event the most willing person, who eagerly desires to serve the Lord, does not know what direction to take. So what should you do when you find yourself in this situation? Should you allow yourself to be overcome with despair? Should you turn back in cowardice or in fear or rush ahead in ignorance? 

No, you should simply wait--but wait in prayer. Call upon God and plead your case before Him, telling HIm of your difficulty and reminding Him of His promise to help.

Wait in faith. Express your unwavering confidence in Him. And believe that even if He keeps you waiting until midnight, He will come at the right time to fulfill His vision for you.

Wait in quiet patience. Never complain about what you believe to be the cause of your problems, as the children of Israel did against Moses. Accept your situation exactly as it is and then simply place it with your whole heart into the hand of your covenant God. And while removing any self-will, say to Him, "Lord, 'Not my will, but yours be done' [Luke 22:42]. I do not know what to do, and I am i great need. But I will wait until You divide the flood before me or drive back my enemies. I will wait even if You keep me here many days, for my heart is fixed on You alone, dear Lord. And my spirit will wait for You with full confidence that You will still be my joy and my salvation, 'for you have been my refuge, [and] a strong tower against the foe' [Ps. 61:3]." - from Morning by Morning

      Wait, patiently wait,
      God never is late;
Your budding plans are in Your Father's holding,
And only wait His grand divine unfolding.
     Then wait, wait,
     Patiently wait. 

     Trust, hopefully wait,
     That God will adjust
Your tangled life; and from its dark concealings, 
Will bring His will, in all its bright revealings.
     Then trust, trust, 
     Hopefully trust,

     Rest, peacefully rest
     On your Savior's breast;
Breathe in His ear your sacred high ambition,
And He will bring it forth in blest fruition.
     Then rest, rest, 
     Peacefully rest!


I think that which stands out to me the most is this thought: I will wait even if You keep me here many days, for my heart is fixed on You alone, dear Lord.

L-R: Grama (Mom's Mom), Tiffany (Teddy's Mom), Mom (My Mom), Me (?' s Mom ;) )

Just as cute as he can BE!

Just a quick note

I took my Advanced Creole Exam on Friday at 4:00 p.m. I was just able to get the results back this evening at 6:45 p.m.

Hallelujah!!!!

The exam included grammar, a short composition, watching (a DVD) and writing (paraphrasing what was seen - NO NOTE TAKING DURING THE DVD!), and conversation - speaking and listening.

Each section was worth 25 points.

I scored 20/25 on the Grammar, 24/25 on the composition, 23/25 on the watching and writing and 23/25 on the conversation!

So thankful to Charlotte and her WONDERFUL teaching!!! To HaitiHub for getting me started! For Wadner who was my first Creole 'teacher' back in 2007. For Frantzy who helped tutor me, to Greg, Calaine, Ketlye, Miss Prudence, and countless others who have helped me all along the way!

Praise be to God, great things HE hath done!

First Baby

Well, I just got well enough to go back to work today, and Prudence calls me to let me know we have a mom about to give birth at the Clinic!!!!

We don't 'do' births at the Clinic - we usually send them to the main Hospital in town - Justinien - or wherever the family wants to go.

But every once in awhile there are emergencies. Today was one of them. Mom, Nella (Nay-la), came into the Clinic this morning to get a Letter of Reference to go to Justinien to have the baby, but when Prudence saw her she knew she wouldn't make it into town on a Tap-tap - the baby would probably be born ON the Tap-tap.

So, they set her up in the still-yet-to-be-used-on-a-regular-basis Mother-Baby House.

I got there within a few minutes - Marthe, who is a midwife, (she's also Doctor Rodney's mother) was there. And I got to 'assist'!!!

Mom wasn't *too* interested in pushing - not really - this is her second - but she was still not really doing that much work? We kept encouraging her to PUSH!!! Baby was in the canal - we could see his/her head...she was more interested in scootching around on the bed, and crying out to Jesus, and flailing her arms around then PUSHING...

As far as birth's go I don't think it was too bad/painful - towards the end she got a little more vocal - but she was pretty relaxed up until that point...asked for a Tampico juice drink and sat up to drink it! I said - well, now, I know - Tampico gives you strength!!!

She had a beautiful Baby Boy at 9:55am. I was able to suction him out, cut his cord, lay him skin to skin with Momma, help him feed, and assist in getting him cleaned up and weighed. Put a cute little outfit on him and took him through the Clinic. He doesn't have a name yet - so I just put "Garçon" on the top of the paper - "Boy".

So there you have it!!! :D Here are just a few more pics to tell the story :D

Marthe the Midwife

Nella

Cutting the cord

My face as I was cutting the cord

Skin to skin!

All cleaned up and ready to see the world

In the 'recovery' room :D

Jam-packed!

Started off seeing kids in the morning. Had a couple I put in the food program - BUT as we HAVE food in the Depot - this was WONDERFUL!!! And, Lord willing - we will have food for a while!!!

A new project number was just approved to be able to raise money for the Clinic to have funds to get Plumpy'Nut  directly from the supplier as the World Food Program has been unreliable in providing food and providing adequate amounts of food.

To give to this project you can go to One Mission Society. The page will look like this:

Give a   Special Gift  Monthly Gift  Annual Gift   gift of $  to 

Select what you wish to give, and the amount, and enter 408048 in the 'to' box!!!


On a sad note, a lady in the local on-campus church who's son has been in the hospital for awhile passed away yesterday at the age of 40, leaving 4 children, and a wife. She was at my house this morning with her husband before 8 asking Erica for help, crying and praying together.


As soon as I got to work I had a patient who I'd helped with rent just last week - they pay a lump some once a year - he already had 2/3rds of the money - come and tell me that his 11 y.o. son had just died in the Hospital yesterday :( he needed money to make a coffin...I didn't think I had anything to give, but as I prayed silently as he told me the story, I realized that I still had some tithe money left - and I felt the Holy Spirit urging me to give it to this man.

Once I came back from getting the money, I had a talk with one of the pastor's on staff - Pastor Daniel, to verify the story and the need. It was as I had been told.

Today I learned more about Ronel then I had known before. I knew that he had something wrong with his foot, because he's on crutches, and the foot turns in badly and is open and weeping until we bandage it for him - about once a week. What I did not know was that up until three years ago he was a mason. It was then that he fell off a roof and broke his back - they didn't know at first that is what he had done - apparently the X-rays didn't show anything. It was unclear to me exactly how long he was without proper medical attention. Eventually the break was found and a metal rod was inserted in his back - which is very visible - a miracle that he is not a paraplegic! He said that when it first happened his hands just hung at his sides - useless...eventually he was able to use them again. He has lost the ability to wiggle his toes on his left foot, and his right foot turns in badly and is the one that has brought him to us.

The accident with his right foot happened a little over two years ago and I was not able to get details on that.

Today, before I just gave him the money I spoke with him, about a  lot of things but in particular - dependency - and just because I am 'white' does NOT mean I am rich; and just because I've been able to help him out the past two times does NOT mean I will always be able to do so. That he needed to see if the church could help him, this was part of it's responsibility. He said he understood - which I've gotten a lot - from other people...and then they show back up at your door fifteen times...but this time? This time was different...as I listened to him tell me how he knew he couldn't keep asking and how that even when Dr. Rodney offered to put him on Indigent care to help pay for his visits to the Clinic he had refused - feeling he needed to pay...I felt encouraged to be helping and felt as though I wasn't adding to a problem...

I asked him if he was saved, and where he went to church. He began to explain that he was a Christian and that everything that happens to us has to pass through the hand of God. (Remember he's just lost his son.) I asked if he knew how to read? or had a Bible? He said he could read, a lot - but didn't have a Bible. I asked if he listened to Radio 4VEH - One Mission Society's Christian Radio Station. He said that he could listen from time to time if he happened to visit a neighbor's house who had a radio - but not all the time. I felt impressed to get him a Radio. My first thought was that maybe the team from Greenwood, may still have a few left over and could give me one - but a few texts revealed they had none. Another idea was to ask Met Son (director of radio distribution) if he had any - a phone call revealed he was in a meeting. THEN I remembered that we do have some Radios at the Clinic to give out on a discretionary basis. I told him to please wait and started a search. I found Dr. Rodney and asked him - but he said they'd all been given out! Undeterred and stayed in his office imploring him to think if there was ANYWHERE we might have ONE? He thought maybe we *might* have a few in the Depot? He called Magda and Magda and I had a look...and...sure enough there was one!!! (or two or three? I don't know - she just pulled one out for me :D)

Delighted I walked back to the room Ronel was waiting in and presented him with a pre-tuned Radio with the New Testament in Creole! I explained to him how it worked! He broke into a BIG smile - lifted his hands to Heaven and thanked the Lord.

I had Magda take a picture - and even though it may not *look* it - he WAS grateful!!

All of this took place BEFORE noon!!!

When I was to drive to the beach with the team...get some mountain driving experience!!! To get to the beach though, one was to drive through town...always a bit nerve wracking...even for experienced drivers!!! Never mind ones like ME who are just learning a manual!!! Tap-taps, people, motorcycles all OVER the place...

We did make it - even with the Tap-Tap that was loaded to the GROUND in front of us! Every once in a while it would stop - and two or three people would squeeze out and then it was like a vacuum *schloop* two or three would be sucked in..but it STILL looked just as loaded on the outside!!!

Amos let me drive *almost* the whole way - there was one stretch up the mountain where the road was more riverbed than road so he took over but it was only for a very short while and then he let me take over again :D

And it was worth it!

Team enjoying some sun :D after getting some 'water-time'

 The team had already had lunch but some of us hadn't so we cheeseburgers and fries!!! A real treat! PLUS when we went to pay...instead of it being the usual $10/person to get on the beach it was only $5! Amos joked and said it was because I was a 'bel blanc' - beautiful white (person)!

Leonie - one of the translators for this team, Amos - my PATIENT driving instructor, and Erica - friend and housemate :D

The drive home was almost as hectic as coming in - I DID get to do the whole thing myself though :D Traffic was still a bear as school had just gotten out - so lots of kids, and motorcycle taxis, and Tap-taps, there was a School bus in front of us for a good portion of the way through town that was JAM packed! Standing room only..with the back door swinging open and shut to let people on as needed...I don't know what music was being played over the sound system but the guys in the back were REALLY into it and jumping up and down all OVER the place!!!

We got home in just over an hour. Safe and sound - Thank you, JESUS! And found another surprise: dinner at the Holiday House! The family that was supposed to be on schedule had inadvertently double booked with their 'date-night' so...we got to get in one last meal with the team!!! Wahoo!!! 

Amos gave me a 90% 'grade' on the overall return trip and said I was now free to drive 'alone' where-ever I pleased!!! Hallelujah!!! Thank you, Lord!

As I was leaving the Holiday House, I saw another friend who's wife recently passed away due to complications from a beating she had received when thieves broke into their house earlier this summer. Thinking he was here to ask for money again, I tried to steel myself. Instead? he simply wished to thank me sincerely for everything that I had done to help him. And that everything had been taken care of. That his kids were in school, that he'd been able to get the money for them and they were continuing in their education. Again, Praise the Lord!!!

At this point in my day - 6:30ish I was pretty much all tired out and ready for bed? But, not a chance - it was chick-flick with the Singles at House 10 - and we watched "While You Were Sleeping!" Thanks to Matt and Stacey - fellow missionaries who have a 'plethora' of movies that I was just able to delve into!

So, got to end this day with a bit more fun packed in the end...my day resembles the Tap-tap - Jam-packed...so now? I am heading to bed!!!

Thankfulness

You know what's nice? When you work REALLY hard and someone appreciates that! This little girl came in today for consultatio but her Dad had left his Rendez-vous card at home - which means we had little hope of finding her dossier. I told him to give his name in at the Archives and tell them he was going home quick to get the card and would be back, he said ok and off he went. Came back a little later saying that he was told he couldn't do that b/c even tho the MOM lives here in Vaudreuil, he lives too far away to be able to go and come back. So I told him to just go and have a NEW dossier made and NEXT time he comes in to bring BOTH rendez-vous cards in and we'll put the two dossiers together. So off he went again. But came back saying they wouldn't let him do that? I finished up screening the last of my 'consultation' kids and before starting on Vaccinations took him to the Archives and talked with Nelly - and explained to her the situation and could she PLEASE make a dossier for him? She asked if he'd already given his name? and he started going off on a rabbit trail - we had to ask FIVE times before he finally just said: "No." so she wrote it down - told him to take a look - #95 - she was just starting on #32 - so he was going to have to wait awhile - but to be patient. He was thankful and told me so. I thought that was the end of it? Later on he came back AGAIN while I was in the middle of screaming kids, giving vaccines, drawing up medication, writing down which ones I'd given, who got what and when they should come back to tell me that he'd only come with 250gds = 5.80 USD. But consultation was 400gds = 9.30 USD (it'd gone up he said since the last time he'd been here? Prudence was just telling him that any problem he had she could help him with EXCEPT a money issue. I took a blank card and wrote to Nelly in the Cashier's office and told her to charge the extra bit to me - I told him to go and pay what he had in the Cashier's office. Prudence then told him not to come back ;) So, at the end of the day = 60+ kids later when he showed up outside the door - I was just a little sarcy when I asked - before he could say anything: "What did the Nurse tell you earlier?" I was quickly humbled as he started pouring out his thanks to me. And that though he knew he'd not be able to repay me, God could and He would. He would repay me for what I'd done. And thanking me, and hoping that I would stay a long time to help out in Haiti and to continue to be a blessing. And thank you, thank you, thank you! He just couldn't say it enough! (A lot of times when one does something similar one will get the initial thank you/God bless you - but that's it - but this guy came BACK to specifically thank me...profusely!

Ismaël Sephora 

In thinking about this - and recounting it to my housemate, Erica, and friend, Lisa - I was reminded of the 10 Lepers and how only ONE came back and said "Thank You." You may see ten people and only ONE of them comes back to say it, but it's that ONE that makes you realize why you do what you do to help. - Wisdom from Erica. 

I also thought - wow - if I feel that touched by some one coming and telling ME thank you, how much more must the Father heart of God feel when we go back to Him and say "Thank you."? 

Jean, Paul-Pierre - revisited!

 

Another Hallelujah Day!!! Paul, Jean-Pierre got his Graduation certificate today!!! He's been in the TB program for 6 months (I can't believe it's been THAT long!), has finished his regimen and is TB free!!!


His Mom, Paul, Miss Prudence

When he came in this morning to hand me his Rendez-vous card he was beaming and gave me a huge bear hug!!! Not that you'd know it from his pictures - but he does have a great smile!

I've been sick the past two days since returning from a quick 5 day trip to see friends and family in FL for a Cowman International School reunion. And therefore have not been at work :( But I managed to be feeling much better today - and am SO glad that I was able to work - if ONLY to see Jean again! Well - ok - working again felt pretty good too!!! As did knowing I was helping Prudence and actually getting to put the finishing touches on a numerical system I designed to help with matching TB patients with their dossiers quickly and easily. We tried an alphabetic system but that didn't work - and didn't help Prudence. So this way is quick and easy, and...we'll see if it works in the upcoming weeks!!! :D

January 2013 - just accepted Christ!

 

May 2013 - just over 1/2 way through treatment

 

July 2013 - just graduated from the TB program!!!