On Sunday - November 22nd - I had a 'God-moment'. It's taken me awhile to decide if I should share it with you all as it's fairly personal. But I think I should.
I was sitting in church...we'd sung "Great is Thy Faithfulness" - one of my favourites! And I was just thinking really...and He surprised me.
I was thinking about getting back to Haiti, and giving my missionary family the gifts I've started to collect for them...
That led to deeper thinking...or bitter-sweeting ;) I guess you could call it.
While the first thought was giving me joy a second thought, a much deeper, darker thought coursed through the channels of my mind. This bitter thought was a reminder of my loneliness (writing it here it was probably an attack from Satan) because as soon as I felt the 'sting' of that thought I started wishing I was married and had someone special to give gifts to or even some special someones.
I was feeling thus, when I heard His gentle whisper.
He called my name. "Elida."
"Yes", I breathed out the question.
"I love you."
I smiled.
But He didn't stop there. He knew I needed to hear more. He knew I needed to hear truth.
"I love you more than you can fathom."
At this point I had goose-bumps and was awash with overwhelming thankfulness...
But He didn't stop there.
"I know you are lonely, and scared of growing old, of growing old without kids."
At this point I started to cry - these were all true, but things I barely admitted to myself. I waited breathlessly to see if He would stop there? With my fears? With my failings? With my frustrations?
But He didn't stop there. He continued:
"I know this - all of it - and I want you to know..."
Yes, yes? Lord, what DO You want me to know?
"It's OK...It's going to BE OK...I've got a beautiful plan for your life."
A fall back to His promise in Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." He had given me this verse when I was a teenager, struggling in a barren place. And here He was reminding me of it once again.
But He didn't stop there.
"Remember - I love you."
I was almost crying out loud at this point.
But He didn't stop there.
"And I love to give good and perfect gifts to My children. Just as you, My precious child, get so much enjoyment out of blessing others with your gift of giving which I've given you."
There.
There is where He stopped.
Not until He had spoken to me with words of affirmation, not until He had stripped me bare, not until He had voiced the fears I try to hide, not until He had let me KNOW His plans, not until He had offered me a glimpse of Who He is - LOVE. Not until then, did He stop. Not until this one tired, frightened, lonely child of His KNEW she was LOVED in the deepest way possible.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Blessed is the one who waits.
Today's reading from Streams in the Desert has once again been exactly what I've needed as I face another uncertain day.
Many of you know that I flew out of Haiti on November 12th for a quick trip home to surprise my Mom for her --th birthday!!! She was COMPLETELY surprised!!! For I think only the second or third time in her life!!
This trip was part of a week's vacation that I was taking and I should've already returned to Haiti. My flight back was on Saturday, November 16th.
But because of recent health issues - namely unexplained chest pain. My reservation was cancelled and I am currently in limbo. The MD advised NOT returning to Haiti until this issue was sorted.
I had a stress-echocardiogram done on Monday morning. And am now awaiting results. I've heard from the MD, he has my results and thankfully, due to a cancellation will be able to see me this afternoon at 1pm to go over them and talk about the next step.
So, I am waiting.
I don't know for how long I'll be 'held' here in the States. I *want* to get back.
I am enjoying my time back with my family - currently staying with my parents, and my live-at-home-single-mom-sister, and nephew. It's been great! Especially as Teddy is 8 months old, crawling...EVERYWHERE, upstairs even! LOVES to laugh - is as sweet as he can be and LOVES his "Tanti" Lida.
While this is true, I did have some anxiety over leaving Haiti and the possibility that I might just get 'held'. but Sweet Jesus! He dealt with my feelings of anxiety over leaving Haiti for longer than I expected before I even left! Reminding me it is MY job to follow, it is HIS job to lead.
Just a few days before I left, in my devotions was the reminder that Abraham had to sacrifice Isaac WHERE GOD DIRECTED. It was not just enough to be WILLING to sacrifice his son, his beloved son, whom he loved, but to do it WHERE God directed. I was impressed by the fact that God has called me to sacrifice - usually I see that as ON the mission field - but this time He showed me it was the Mission Field I was sacrificing. And doing it where He leads me, following Him.
These past few days I have felt fixed on Him. Ps 57:7 and Ps 112:7 have both been the verses I've pointed people to as they've asked how I am.
Ps 57:7 - My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed: I will sing and give praise.
Ps 112:7 - He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the LORD.
So, this morning, as I woke up at 5:15 and could NOT get back to sleep, I decided to have my devotions an hour early...I'm so glad I did!
From November 20th, Streams in the Desert:
"Blessed is the one who waits. (Daniel 12:12)
Waiting may seem like an easy thing to do, but it is a discipline that a Christian soldier does not learn without years of training. Marching and drills are much easier for God's warriors than standing still. There are times of indecision and confusion, when event the most willing person, who eagerly desires to serve the Lord, does not know what direction to take. So what should you do when you find yourself in this situation? Should you allow yourself to be overcome with despair? Should you turn back in cowardice or in fear or rush ahead in ignorance?
No, you should simply wait--but wait in prayer. Call upon God and plead your case before Him, telling HIm of your difficulty and reminding Him of His promise to help.
Wait in faith. Express your unwavering confidence in Him. And believe that even if He keeps you waiting until midnight, He will come at the right time to fulfill His vision for you.
Wait in quiet patience. Never complain about what you believe to be the cause of your problems, as the children of Israel did against Moses. Accept your situation exactly as it is and then simply place it with your whole heart into the hand of your covenant God. And while removing any self-will, say to Him, "Lord, 'Not my will, but yours be done' [Luke 22:42]. I do not know what to do, and I am i great need. But I will wait until You divide the flood before me or drive back my enemies. I will wait even if You keep me here many days, for my heart is fixed on You alone, dear Lord. And my spirit will wait for You with full confidence that You will still be my joy and my salvation, 'for you have been my refuge, [and] a strong tower against the foe' [Ps. 61:3]." - from Morning by Morning
Wait, patiently wait,
God never is late;
Your budding plans are in Your Father's holding,
And only wait His grand divine unfolding.
Then wait, wait,
Patiently wait.
Trust, hopefully wait,
That God will adjust
Your tangled life; and from its dark concealings,
Will bring His will, in all its bright revealings.
Then trust, trust,
Hopefully trust,
Rest, peacefully rest
On your Savior's breast;
Breathe in His ear your sacred high ambition,
And He will bring it forth in blest fruition.
Then rest, rest,
Peacefully rest!
I think that which stands out to me the most is this thought: I will wait even if You keep me here many days, for my heart is fixed on You alone, dear Lord.
Many of you know that I flew out of Haiti on November 12th for a quick trip home to surprise my Mom for her --th birthday!!! She was COMPLETELY surprised!!! For I think only the second or third time in her life!!
 |
| Video still of her saying: "I think you got me." When I asked if she was surprised? |
But because of recent health issues - namely unexplained chest pain. My reservation was cancelled and I am currently in limbo. The MD advised NOT returning to Haiti until this issue was sorted.
I had a stress-echocardiogram done on Monday morning. And am now awaiting results. I've heard from the MD, he has my results and thankfully, due to a cancellation will be able to see me this afternoon at 1pm to go over them and talk about the next step.
So, I am waiting.
I don't know for how long I'll be 'held' here in the States. I *want* to get back.
I am enjoying my time back with my family - currently staying with my parents, and my live-at-home-single-mom-sister, and nephew. It's been great! Especially as Teddy is 8 months old, crawling...EVERYWHERE, upstairs even! LOVES to laugh - is as sweet as he can be and LOVES his "Tanti" Lida.
While this is true, I did have some anxiety over leaving Haiti and the possibility that I might just get 'held'. but Sweet Jesus! He dealt with my feelings of anxiety over leaving Haiti for longer than I expected before I even left! Reminding me it is MY job to follow, it is HIS job to lead.
Just a few days before I left, in my devotions was the reminder that Abraham had to sacrifice Isaac WHERE GOD DIRECTED. It was not just enough to be WILLING to sacrifice his son, his beloved son, whom he loved, but to do it WHERE God directed. I was impressed by the fact that God has called me to sacrifice - usually I see that as ON the mission field - but this time He showed me it was the Mission Field I was sacrificing. And doing it where He leads me, following Him.
These past few days I have felt fixed on Him. Ps 57:7 and Ps 112:7 have both been the verses I've pointed people to as they've asked how I am.
Ps 57:7 - My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed: I will sing and give praise.
Ps 112:7 - He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the LORD.
So, this morning, as I woke up at 5:15 and could NOT get back to sleep, I decided to have my devotions an hour early...I'm so glad I did!
From November 20th, Streams in the Desert:
"Blessed is the one who waits. (Daniel 12:12)
Waiting may seem like an easy thing to do, but it is a discipline that a Christian soldier does not learn without years of training. Marching and drills are much easier for God's warriors than standing still. There are times of indecision and confusion, when event the most willing person, who eagerly desires to serve the Lord, does not know what direction to take. So what should you do when you find yourself in this situation? Should you allow yourself to be overcome with despair? Should you turn back in cowardice or in fear or rush ahead in ignorance?
No, you should simply wait--but wait in prayer. Call upon God and plead your case before Him, telling HIm of your difficulty and reminding Him of His promise to help.
Wait in faith. Express your unwavering confidence in Him. And believe that even if He keeps you waiting until midnight, He will come at the right time to fulfill His vision for you.
Wait in quiet patience. Never complain about what you believe to be the cause of your problems, as the children of Israel did against Moses. Accept your situation exactly as it is and then simply place it with your whole heart into the hand of your covenant God. And while removing any self-will, say to Him, "Lord, 'Not my will, but yours be done' [Luke 22:42]. I do not know what to do, and I am i great need. But I will wait until You divide the flood before me or drive back my enemies. I will wait even if You keep me here many days, for my heart is fixed on You alone, dear Lord. And my spirit will wait for You with full confidence that You will still be my joy and my salvation, 'for you have been my refuge, [and] a strong tower against the foe' [Ps. 61:3]." - from Morning by Morning
Wait, patiently wait,
God never is late;
Your budding plans are in Your Father's holding,
And only wait His grand divine unfolding.
Then wait, wait,
Patiently wait.
Trust, hopefully wait,
That God will adjust
Your tangled life; and from its dark concealings,
Will bring His will, in all its bright revealings.
Then trust, trust,
Hopefully trust,
Rest, peacefully rest
On your Savior's breast;
Breathe in His ear your sacred high ambition,
And He will bring it forth in blest fruition.
Then rest, rest,
Peacefully rest!
I think that which stands out to me the most is this thought: I will wait even if You keep me here many days, for my heart is fixed on You alone, dear Lord.
 |
| L-R: Grama (Mom's Mom), Tiffany (Teddy's Mom), Mom (My Mom), Me (?' s Mom ;) ) |
 |
| Just as cute as he can BE! |
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Just a quick note
I took my Advanced Creole Exam on Friday at 4:00 p.m. I was just able to get the results back this evening at 6:45 p.m.
Hallelujah!!!!
The exam included grammar, a short composition, watching (a DVD) and writing (paraphrasing what was seen - NO NOTE TAKING DURING THE DVD!), and conversation - speaking and listening.
Each section was worth 25 points.
I scored 20/25 on the Grammar, 24/25 on the composition, 23/25 on the watching and writing and 23/25 on the conversation!
So thankful to Charlotte and her WONDERFUL teaching!!! To HaitiHub for getting me started! For Wadner who was my first Creole 'teacher' back in 2007. For Frantzy who helped tutor me, to Greg, Calaine, Ketlye, Miss Prudence, and countless others who have helped me all along the way!
Praise be to God, great things HE hath done!
Hallelujah!!!!
The exam included grammar, a short composition, watching (a DVD) and writing (paraphrasing what was seen - NO NOTE TAKING DURING THE DVD!), and conversation - speaking and listening.
Each section was worth 25 points.
I scored 20/25 on the Grammar, 24/25 on the composition, 23/25 on the watching and writing and 23/25 on the conversation!
So thankful to Charlotte and her WONDERFUL teaching!!! To HaitiHub for getting me started! For Wadner who was my first Creole 'teacher' back in 2007. For Frantzy who helped tutor me, to Greg, Calaine, Ketlye, Miss Prudence, and countless others who have helped me all along the way!
Praise be to God, great things HE hath done!
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